Daughter Getting Married? Your Role On Her Big Day

This article was first published on Dear.Ava

Your daughter is overjoyed to begin the wedding planning process, and as the mother of the bride, you know that you play an important role in her big day. Of course, it’s key to talk to your daughter and her fiance about the role they’d like you to take in their wedding. These traditions seem to stand true for mother of the bride responsibilities at even the most modern weddings. Let’s take a look at what tradition dictates you do to help your daughter celebrate her wedding day.

Share The News
Traditionally, the parents of the bride are responsible for sharing the news of the engagement. It’s up to you whether you’d like to send out engagement announcements, inform the local paper so that an announcement can be made, or share in another way. Talk with your daughter about her preferences, and be sure she’s ready for the news to be shared publicly before you make the announcement.

Welcome The In-Laws
If you haven’t met your future son-in-law’s parents yet, you’ll soon be working side by side, helping to prepare for the big day. No matter how close you may be with your daughter’s future in-laws, it’s a common gesture of goodwill to invite them over for dinner. This can be as relaxed or formal as you’d prefer, and you can certainly invite other members of your future son-in-law’s family as well. Don’t hesitate to get this dinner down in your schedule – traditionally, the parents of the betrothed get together within six weeks of the engagement.

Talk Numbers
In times past, the financial responsibility of taking care of the wedding fell completely on the parents of the bride. Today, things tend to be a bit more relaxed. Your daughter and her fiancé may be interested in paying for the wedding themselves, especially if they’re older and established in their careers. Your future son-in-law’s parents may assume that it’s also their responsibility to pitch in and pay for the festivities. If you don’t want to shoulder the responsibility of paying for the wedding on your own, talk with your daughter about who else will be contributing. Set a budget for yourself so that you don’t overextend your funding, putting your finances into a stressful state.

Do Your Research
After the initial excitement of the engagement dies down, the stress of planning the party of a lifetime begins to set in. It’s your job to be there to help your daughter with research, getting quotes, and finding available vendors. Don’t make decisions without consulting your daughter first, and regularly ask her what you can do to help her get the planning underway. If it’s in your budget, hiring a wedding planner or even a day-of-wedding coordinator can be a huge help in knocking things off of the pre-wedding to-do list.

Help Her Find Her Dream Dress
No matter who is footing the bill for the wedding gown, it’s your job to be with her every step of the way as she searches for the perfect dress to walk down the aisle. It may be helpful for you to set up dress appointments, help your daughter create a budget, and research where to found gowns in your area that fit the style your daughter is looking for.

Get Down To The Nitty-Gritty Of The Guest List
Help your daughter create a guest list, manage RSVPs, and create a seating chart for people who respond that they’ll be attending the wedding. With your daughter’s approval, it makes sense for you to be the person responsible for RSVPs. People can reach out to you about plus ones, attending the ceremony but not the reception, and other nuances that will affect the total headcount.

Be Her Go-To For The Big Day
On your daughter’s wedding day, she’ll likely have some nerves, and she’ll need her mom. Be there to put out any fires and reassure her that everything will be wonderful. Celebrate her, ease her stress, and don’t forget to pat yourself on the back for a job well done when your daughter and her new husband jet off to their honeymoon.